How
to Be The Guy That Women Want
By Lisa Daily
These days my email box is jammed full with
letters from men asking for advice on how to attract women. Being a woman
myself, I'm a bit on the fence as far as revealing the chick's club secret
code, but as an eternal optimist when it comes to love and relationships,
I'll do whatever I can to get everybody happily coupled up.
So guys, this month it's your turn. Below you'll
find some a combination of my favorite make-her-toes-curl moves, as well
as some fun tidbits from the thousands of women who write to me, telling
me what they look for in a guy.
Science first.
Take your positions for the mating dance.
Want to be the guy who gets noticed? Stand
in the center of the
room. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the
author of several
books and nationally-known expert in the field
of spacial psychology,
where you are in a room (and what you're doing)
has a lot to do with
your ability to attract women. Where should
you be for the
highest impact and the greatest number of
interested cuties?
Smack-dab in the center of the room, standing
up and moving around
a bit. (But don't pace a track on the carpet
for goodness sake...)
Nice guys wear blue.
According to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman,
Director of the
Pantone Color Institute and author of Colors
For Your Every Mood,
women are attracted to men wearing the color
blue. And why
wouldn't we be? According to Eiseman, guys
who frequently
wear blue are "stable, faithful, constant
and always there." The
blue guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term
relationship --
someone who's dependable, momogomous and can
match his
own clothes.
Concerned your wardrobe is driving people away?
Stay away
from what Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar
yellow-green"
which is said to repel both sexes equally.
Be an Alpha male, or just look like one.
According to Body Language Expert Patti Wood,
you shouldn't fold your arms or chew on gum, ice or your fingernails. Wood
says, chewing indicates anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very
attractive emotions.
There's more. Women are biologically attracted
to more dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free
to take up some space. Wood says appearing more dominant effectively draws
female attention. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart,
and your toes pointing outward.
For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge,
or who appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y
chromosome out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian,
men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles or clothing,"
hold your head up, and speed up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.
Make your move.
1) The eyes have it.
Once you've zeroed in on a target, lock eyes
with her for a full five to six seconds, then smile and drop your gaze.
Don't stare a hole through the girl's forehead for goodness sake, just
give her a smoldering come-hither look and look away. Do this at least
three times in a ten to fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to
know it's them you're flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal
of openness. Then, make your move. Walk up and start a conversation. Wait
too long and they'll likely lose interest.
2) Preen like a peacock.
We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously
when we're attracted to someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes,
such as straightening your tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a
smile and a gaze.
3) Monkey see, monkey do.
People mirror each other's body language when
they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly
mimicking your flirting target's behavior. If she leans forward, you lean
forward. If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring
someone's behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are
connected and "in tune."
4) Go in for the kill.
Once you and your flirting target have started
talking, use these tips to deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain
eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what
they are saying. There is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who
finds you utterly fascinating.
How to tell if a woman is flirting with you?
Look for signs like extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.
What the women want.
Finally, once you've made your move, there
are a few more strategies you should employ. According to my research and
the hundreds of letters I receive every week, what women really want is
pretty simple:
1) If you want a woman's phone number, be a
man and ask for it. Don't pull that weenie-move of handing us your business
card and expecting us to make the first move.
2) Don't wait a week to call. We know you're
playing it cool and it irritates us. Two or three days is plenty of time
to wait.
3) Don't wait until the last minute to ask
for a date. Give us a chance to look forward to it. (On the other hand,
in the early stages of a new relationship (first month) NEVER ask us for
a date several months in advance. Let 's make sure the relationship is
something both parties want to pursue before you get locked into plans
you may not want to keep.)
4) Never pressure a woman for sex. Really.
Especially on the first date.
5) Be a gentleman. That means paying for dinner,
holding the door open, and using your table manners. (Even if you can belch
the theme from Star Wars.)
6) Always offer your coat on a chilly night.
(Yes, we know we should bring our own, but we don't. Besides, there's something
utterly fabulous about cuddling up in your big man jacket.)
7) On top of that, be yourself. A really great
guy.
For more information on:
The psychology of color: www.pantone.com
Body language: www.pattiwood.net
**
Lisa Dailey is the author of Stop Getting
Dumped!
All you need to know to make men fall madly
in love with you and
marry "The One" in 3 years or less.
At bookstores everywhere.
As seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and
Ricki Lake
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