Flirting
101: 10 Tips to Make 'em Drool
By
Lisa Daily
You
don't have to look like Jennifer Anniston or Brad Pitt to make the
guys
(or girls) go gaga. All you need is your fabulous smile and a few
surefire
flirting tips like the ones you'll find below to attract the
opposite
sex like paparazzi to a movie star.
For
women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel
comfortable
in taking a risk. For men, the secret is in showcasing your
masculinity.
(And no, that doesn't mean adjusting yourself or proving
once
and for all that you are the Belching King.)
1)
Lock Eyes
Lock
eyes with the person you're flirting with for a full five to six
seconds,
then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the
guy's
forehead for goodness sake, just give him a smoldering
come-hither
look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten
to
fifteen-minute period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them
you're
flirting with, and eye contact is a universal signal of
openness.
2)
Smile
Smiling
is absolutely the most effective tool in your flirting toolbox.
Psychology
and body language experts agree that one of the most
important
things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and
approachable)
is to smile. Not a giant plastic used car salesman smile,
just
your normal "I'm having a great time and I'm happy to be here"
face
will do the trick. According to body language expert Patti Wood,
"the
smile is the international signal of friendliness." Guys, if you
lock
eyes and smiles with a woman three or more times in an evening,
you
have received a clear signal that she's interested. Make your move,
head
on over and start up a conversation. If you don't, somebody else
will.
3)
Be a Vampire's Best Friend
One
of the most winning flirting techniques a woman can use is the
exposure
of her neck. This can be done with a head tilt to one side,
the
classic hair flip, or my personal favorite, the over-the-shoulder
glance
- the asymmetrical position attracts attention, exposes your
neck,
and gives you the opportunity to lock eyes. The over-the-shoulder
move
is extra-effective because it's sexy and it sends a signal to your
target
that they are worth a second look.
4)
Preen Like A Peacock
We
tend to preen or groom ourselvessubconsciously when we're attracted
to
someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our
lipstick
in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a
grooming
gesture with a smile and a gaze. Another trick? Toss your
hair
to one side. This classic move is a double whammy that combines
preening
and a flash of neck. Need we say more?
5)
Lip Service
Both
men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips
because
they signal youth, sex and fertility. How to make the most of
it?
For women, try wearing a red lipstick (red has been shown to
increase
a man's heart rate), which not only gives your lips that
youthful
color, but also makes your smile more visible and your teeth
whiter.
A super-shiny lip gloss can also give you an advantage, making
your
lips look moist and kissable. For both men and women, try licking
your
lips (subtlety is key here, you don't want to look like you're
trying
out for a porno flick.) or biting your lower lip - both are
extremely
effective flirting behaviors.
6)
Cross Your Legs (Women)
Crossing
and uncrossing your legs is another surefire flirting
technique,
especially if you're wearing high heels. The act of crossing
your
legs is quite seductive to men, and it makes them desire to see
more.
Another key seduction trick is slipping your heel out of your
shoe
and dangling it on your toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual
message
and mimics a woman's curves, and sends a man's heart racing.
7)
Square Your Shoulders (Men) Women are biologically attracted
to
more
dominant men, so stand tall with your shoulders back. Feel free to
take
up some space. For men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or
who
appear to be too submissive to attract women, try taking your Y
chromosome
out for a spin. According to spatial psychologist Albert
Mehrabian,
men should "try wearing bulkier or more conservative
hairstyles
or clothing," hold your head up, and speed up your speech
and
gestures to be more assertive.
8)
Let Your Feet Do The Talking
According
to body language expert Wood, you want to make yourself a
"safe"
(read approachable) target. Wood says "to be very approachable
women
should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with
toes
pointed slightly inward. "
For
men, appearing more dominant effectively draws female attention. To
attract
women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes
pointing
outward.
9)
Be a Mimic
People
mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with
similar
gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting
target's
behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he
scratches
his head, you scratch your head. If you are mirroring
someone's
behavior, they'll begin to feel as though the two of you are
connected
and "in tune."
10)
Focus, Focus, Focus.
Once
you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips
to
deepen the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they
are
speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying.
There
is rarely anyone more attractive than someone who finds you
utterly
fascinating. Other key moves, the nod and the head tilt -
signal
you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smiling
and
laughing are crucial here - it's the quickest, easiest way to put
another
person at ease and make a connection. Finally, another
effective
flirting technique is low-level touching such as brushing the
shoulder
or elbow.
How
to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for the signs above,
especially
extended eye contact, low-level touching and laughing.
How
to tell if a guy is flirting with you? Again, the signs above are
fantastic
indicators, but men tend to take things a little further by
demonstrating
their social status with moves that can include, flashing
cash
and talking about their occupations and (you guessed it) cars.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lisa
Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All
you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry “The
One” in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere.
As
seen in/on Cosmopolitan, The Other Half and The Sally Show
Get
our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of
man-snagging
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