How to Be
The Guy That Women Want
By Lisa Daily
These
days my email box is jammed full with letters from men asking for advice
on how to attract women. Being a woman myself, I'm a bit on the fence as
far as revealing the chick's club secret code, but as an eternal optimist
when it comes to love and relationships, I'll do whatever I can to get
everybody happily coupled up.
So
guys, this month it's your turn. Below you'll find some a combination of
my favorite make-her-toes-curl moves, as well as some fun tidbits from
the thousands of women who write to me, telling me what they look for in
a guy.
Science
first.
Take
your positions for the mating dance.
Want
to be the guy who gets noticed? Stand in the center of the
room.
According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian, the author of several
books
and nationally-known expert in the field of spacial psychology,
where
you are in a room (and what you're doing) has a lot to do with
your
ability to attract women. Where should you be for the
highest
impact and the greatest number of interested cuties?
Smack-dab
in the center of the room, standing up and moving around
a
bit. (But don't pace a track on the carpet for goodness sake...)
Nice
guys wear blue.
According
to Color Consultant Leatrice Eiseman, Director of the
Pantone
Color Institute and author of Colors For Your Every Mood,
women
are attracted to men wearing the color blue. And why
wouldn't
we be? According to Eiseman, guys who frequently
wear
blue are "stable, faithful, constant and always there." The
blue
guy is a fantastic candidate for a long-term relationship --
someone
who's dependable, momogomous and can match his
own
clothes.
Concerned
your wardrobe is driving people away? Stay away
from
what Eiseman calls "squished caterpillar yellow-green"
which
is said to repel both sexes equally.
Be
an Alpha male, or just look like one.
According
to Body Language Expert Patti Wood, you shouldn't fold your arms or chew
on gum, ice or your fingernails. Wood says, chewing indicates anxiety or
frustration, neither of which are very attractive emotions.
There's
more. Women are biologically attracted to more dominant men, so stand tall
with your shoulders back. Feel free to take up some space. Wood says appearing
more dominant effectively draws female attention. To attract women, stand
with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and your toes pointing outward.
For
men who are victims of the "nice guy" badge, or who appear to be too submissive
to attract women, try taking your Y chromosome out for a spin. According
to spatial psychologist Albert Mehrabian, men should "try wearing bulkier
or more conservative hairstyles or clothing," hold your head up, and speed
up your speech and gestures to be more assertive.
Make
your move.
1)
The eyes have it.
Once
you've zeroed in on a target, lock eyes with her for a full five to six
seconds, then smile and drop your gaze. Don't stare a hole through the
girl's forehead for goodness sake, just give her a smoldering come-hither
look and look away. Do this at least three times in a ten to fifteen-minute
period. Why? Your target needs to know it's them you're flirting with,
and eye contact is a universal signal of openness. Then, make your move.
Walk up and start a conversation. Wait too long and they'll likely lose
interest.
2)
Preen like a peacock.
We
tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to
someone, by smoothing down our hair or clothes, such as straightening your
tie. Try combining a grooming gesture with a smile and a gaze.
3)
Monkey see, monkey do.
People
mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar
gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's
behavior. If she leans forward, you lean forward. If he scratches his head,
you scratch your head. If you are mirroring someone's behavior, they'll
begin to feel as though the two of you are connected and "in tune."
4)
Go in for the kill.
Once
you and your flirting target have started talking, use these tips to deepen
the attraction. First, smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking,
and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. There is rarely
anyone more attractive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating.
How
to tell if a woman is flirting with you? Look for signs like extended eye
contact, low-level touching and laughing.
What
the women want.
Finally,
once you've made your move, there are a few more strategies you should
employ. According to my research and the hundreds of letters I receive
every week, what women really want is pretty simple:
1)
If you want a woman's phone number, be a man and ask for it. Don't pull
that weenie-move of handing us your business card and expecting us to make
the first move.
2)
Don't wait a week to call. We know you're playing it cool and it irritates
us. Two or three days is plenty of time to wait.
3)
Don't wait until the last minute to ask for a date. Give us a chance to
look forward to it. (On the other hand, in the early stages of a new relationship
(first month) NEVER ask us for a date several months in advance. Let 's
make sure the relationship is something both parties want to pursue before
you get locked into plans you may not want to keep.)
4)
Never pressure a woman for sex. Really. Especially on the first date.
5)
Be a gentleman. That means paying for dinner, holding the door open, and
using your table manners. (Even if you can belch the theme from Star Wars.)
6)
Always offer your coat on a chilly night. (Yes, we know we should bring
our own, but we don't. Besides, there's something utterly fabulous about
cuddling up in your big man jacket.)
7)
On top of that, be yourself. A really great guy.
For
more information on:
The
psychology of color: www.pantone.com
Body
language: www.pattiwood.net
**
Lisa
Dailey is the author of Stop Getting Dumped!
All
you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and
marry
"The One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere.
As
seen in/on Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and Ricki Lake
Get
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